yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
i woke up to 115 texts from him all saying "do you love me??"
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
I am one with the molecules
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