Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
Randomize