Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
i had a dream last night that you and i organized a foursome. swear to god
ps i'll be in miami in early july. this text has no relation to the last one
Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
Is it penis luge time yet?
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
Randomize
