She is in my trunk
Hot mess moment: I just made really spicy guac and picked my nose, which set it on fire. I tried to neti pot it with a coffee pot, which resulted in me gagging and puking all over my bf's bathroom. oopsie.
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
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