u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.
How do you even...
The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
I just woke up in his bed.. in a cardboard castle, with a Justin Bieber poster on the ceiling staring down at me, cuddling with 4 empty PBR cans. I win.
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
Randomize
