I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
Just woke up in bed, AC on high, with a fresh pack of smokes, an unopened pint of vodka, and a bag w a beef patty w cheese in it. I think my roommate's like the toothfairy or something. Or that was way more Xanax than I needed.
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
Randomize
