I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
We are both federal employees and Obama gave us a four-day weekend to lie in bed. Do you know how many orgasms that will be? I knew there was a reason I voted for this guy.
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
Randomize
