I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
An there's a little girl across the bar eating Mac n cheese... #1 she won't stop looking at me. Boo bitch I'm drinking alone. #2 I'm about to tackle her ass for that Mac n cheese.
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
Randomize
