But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
Randomize
