he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
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