you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
I'm in a corner eating carrots and drinking champagne. I've hit a new kind of low.
How is that low? I love carrots.
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
Randomize
