Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
apparently the officer said last night, "son, why don't you do yourself a favor and spread your legs so you don't keep vomiting on them". why can't I remember those nights?!
Swine flu is the new snow day.
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
I sang Sweet Caroline with a homeless man and made him 25 bucks. Redbull vodka gives you wings!
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
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