Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
apparently farting at a cop is considered assault.
Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
Which genius got me a voicemail of myself puking?
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
So this morning when I woke up. I found my refrigerator open and no more food. It was empty, I'm home alone for the week. Where in hell did that food go?
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
Randomize
