i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
Randomize
