maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
Randomize
