Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
three words: i give head
three words: not that well
So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
Well if homeless lesbian experimenting divorcée is your new M.O., you're gonna need to start drinking more anyway so if that's what it takes to talk about it tomorrow afternoon, bottoms up bitch
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
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