So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
There are GROWN MEN with fake HP wands flinging curses at me in Walmart.
That's funny. Are they weird looking???
OF COURSE THEY ARE WEIRD LOOKING, THEY ARE STALKING ME IN WALMART. WITH. FAKE. WANDS.
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
You can't buy drugs with a ziplock bag full of quarters, chuck-e-cheese coins, and a starbucks giftcard.
watch me
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
Worst. Date. Ever. He peeled a layer of bread off his mini burger buns because they had "too many carbs".
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
Randomize
