what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
giving yourself 2 days to recover i see
I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night.
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
I just found out I was conceived in a rehab facility... that's better than finding out your dad could be someone else right?
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
I was trying not to text you this weekend, so I deleted your number when I was sober. Then auto restore at midnight. It was like drunk magic
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
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