i just realized Britney Spears and I are more alike than I thought. Both of us have our parents in complete control of our lives, we both have restraining orders on previous boyfriends, and we all know both of us can put on a hell of a show
Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
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