I have demons in me.
Just asked my dog if he was proud of me for making it home. That drunk.
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
He was running late for work this morning, so I helped him out by finding a matching pair of black socks. And I hated it. So I'm currently drinking and reminding myself of the reasons I will never get married.
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
Randomize
