Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
Peru was great. He sent me a text after thanking me for my amazing morals which confused me but made me oddly proud...then he texted a correction. He meant my amazing oral. Sadly this Made me prouder. Fuck u bitches and ur morally inhibiting gag reflexes.
Randomize
