I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
i was so high that i was eating crumbs of my bed only to realize they were fuzz thingies. fml.
I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
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