Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
I don't believe in a God but I'm almost positive I just shit out the devil.
UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
You have not lived until you've seen your mother stumble into the house with one shoe on mumbling incoherently about tequila cupcakes.
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
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