I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
I'm calling in my "fuck at anytime anywhere" card. Meet me at my place in 20 min, wear your Waldo costume.
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
We were drunk waiting for tacos and I gave him a handy in the back of the Uber while giving the driver relationship advice. I think I'm handling the whole grad school thing alright.
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
Randomize
