so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
I would like to be the first to explain to you that if you've woken up with bruised knuckles this morning, it's because last night you tried climbing out of our car window and into the drive through window at maccas. The cashier chick freaked out and slammed the window on you and beat you around the head with her headset thingy.
Shittttttt.
Be not ashamed. It was youtube-worthy.
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawnmower thinking of you
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
Randomize
