so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
I couldn't find a water bottle, so I sent her to school with her juice in a flask. Who the hell let me become a parent?
I just ate the lyft drivers bacon cheeseburger. Well fuck me this night escalated quickly.
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
Randomize
