I think im going to throw up on grandma
Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
After the clumsiest day of my life I think it's safe to say my dream of being a ninja is dead. Memorial service with a glass of wine at 8pm
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
I’m really upset they canceled the conference. Since the divorce I’ve been working out, I bought cute new outfits and even found a bikini I liked. Now it’s all online. You can’t get laid at a webinar
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