Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
The cute guy in my class hurt himself and is on crutches. My first thought was "Good. He'll be easier to take down." Like he's a gazelle and I'm a dick tiger. What's wrong with me?
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
Please stop calling me a pterodactyl during sex. It only happens when you're drunk, but still.
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
Randomize
