I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
the girl next to me at the bar JUST looked down at her vagina and said "im going to get you fed". if i come home alone tonight...i give you permission to cut off my penis
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
Well, he's moving. Now my only options are to accept it or fake a pregnancy; and since you are my only pregnant friend I'm going to need you to pee on this stick for me.
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
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