we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
Randomize
