So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
You okay?
I walked into work with a banana and a loaf of bread
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
Had to walk of shame past Westminster Abbey this morning. Pretty sure a Japanese tourist took a photo of me.
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
Randomize
