Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
Only my sister would update her facebook status while going into labor.
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
A girl in McDonalds just asked if I was in here wasted a few nights ago throwing fries at the staff, I said it was my twin
We both know that wasn't me
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
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