just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
There is a 1000000% chance you'll be turned down if you try coming on to me while I watch Star Wars.
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
Can I come take down that wallpaper yet? I stopped seeing that dude and I need to occupy my time with something besides getting drunk at bingo night and cussing out old people. Also, i'm not sure on the legal stipulations but I might have, unintentionally, committed grand theft auto at some point.
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
There is a reason my most meaningful relationship since 2012 has been with Duracel...
is that a dick in a sweater?
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
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