he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
My vagina just recognized that song.
What I thought it would be sexy pouring melted chocolate down here chest, ended up in second degree burns. Hot food and sex do not mix.
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
Randomize
