Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
Just zoned back in to real life and found myself chanting "noodle eater noodle eater noodle eater" at my parrot as he devoured a single macaroni
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
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