oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
Yo, my girl thinks she's pregnant, so I've got a DD for the wedding. Sweet.
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
I just watched your sister pour half a bottle of cotton candy flavored snow cone syrup into a bottle of marshmallow flavored vodka, take a swig, frown, and pour a cherry coke in.
Just wait until she offers you a "powerita"
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
Randomize
