I fear hooking up with people who have white pillowcases because my guyliner always smears on it and i either have to A. sneak out in the night or B. wash it and see them again
Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
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