JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
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