May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
I wish you got a notification every time someone masturbated to a Facebook picture of you...
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
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