This girl I work with, who is 18 btw, invited me to her baby shower. Do they sell abortions in gift certificate form?
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
Just saw some airport workers running through the terminal with liquor bottles. That's my kind of emergency.
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
Just saw a dude dressed as captain america driving down the highway. He saluted me.
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
Randomize