Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
My new best friend is the drag queen who works at mcdonalds and doesnt judge me during my walk of shame coffee break
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
I thought he put a fake swan in my yard, but no, he put a real life swan in my yard
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
Randomize
