So I'm playing pool in my cowboy boots and some guy came up looks at my boots and goes, "you should've got the boots with the fur"
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
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