and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
Dude you're alone at a bar with a woman, and you're talking about my junk?
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
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