Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
I woke up this morning with a text from my mom as to why the hell random people were showing up at the house. Turns out nobody came to our house party because I gave them my old address, fuck pre-partying for real
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
My ovaries melted while we were talking. I almost told him I would suck his soul out through his dick
That would be a memorable parent teacher conference for sure
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
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