I feel like i just miscarried Jesus's baby...
not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
Remind me to tell you the Scottish bar story tomorrow
Remind me to tell you it was a shitty story when you're done telling it tomorrow
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
It looked like Halloween in bed... BECAUSE HE BIT MY PUSSY AND I BLED ALL OVER THE FUCKING PLACE. THEN HE FELL AND BROKE HIS TOE. AND THEN PASSED OUT WHEN HE SAW ALL OF THE BLOOD.
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
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