why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
Remember that pineapple I soaked in vodka last month? Just found it- nothing is growing on it? Think it's safe?
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
Rolled over in bed this morning and found Nutella and wet naps. Why can't it ever be a fire fighter, or Jude Law.
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Randomize
