I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
i'm telling everyone you had sex with a puerto rican drug lord
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
woke up at my desk with a paper in front of me that says "people stranded on islands love having wet dreams" what the fuck happened last night
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
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