So while she was giving me a lap dance I told her I quit med school. Just so she didn't feel like the only one who's made bad decisions in their life.
insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
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