you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
I lost my keys but found four buffalo wings in my pockets
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
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