nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
The investigator asked if we were sharing a pitcher of margaritas. I corrected him and explained that we each had our own.
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
The amount of alcohol I'm going to consume on my birthday is directly proportional to the amount of shit I've had to put up with this past year. Which is a lot.
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
Randomize
