i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
You poured 151 in your eye, ran face first into a tree, fell down, then threw a lawn chair at the dog...all before passing out in the hallway and pissing yourself. There is no way to redeem yourself.
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
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