Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
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