he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
Nothing shouts "I'm single" like a thousand needlepoint pillows.
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
Randomize
