Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
Hey welcome to Rick's drunk text tree. Rick is drunk right now please respond with "shut up" to remove your name from this list. Thanks for playing.
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
Well if homeless lesbian experimenting divorcée is your new M.O., you're gonna need to start drinking more anyway so if that's what it takes to talk about it tomorrow afternoon, bottoms up bitch
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
I didn't even know we were hiding from the cops, I was just playing with the cats. People kept telling me to be quiet the cops are here and I was like DID YOU SEE THIS CAT!?
Randomize
