she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
Oh god he's like Julia Roberts in pretty woman... And I'm the one who's gotta make a lady out of him.
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
He walked into me masturbating to a framed picture of Bill Murray riding a t-rex
Haha i really think theres no better way to tell a paramedic sorry for breaking your nose than a beautiful and healthy edible arrangement...
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
Randomize
