he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
For when you/if you wake up tomorrow.. You broke 4 of the bar's glasses tonight and I am currently watching you as you ride the broom around the bar instead of cleaning up your mess. I am no longer able to come up with excuses for you.
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
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