Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
We found you passed out clutching your purse. There was 16oz of unopened cheddar cheese inside. You just kept saying SALSA YES.
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
You spilt a drink on my couch, then used my dog to mop it up... you called her a mop dog, repeatedly
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