I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
I found a lucrative side business - giving rides home to drunk oil executives. Very profitable.
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
OMG I DIDNT READ THAT TEXT CAREFULLY CAUSE I'M ON THE DEVILS LETTUCE & I THREATENED TO PUNCH A CHILD OMG I'M SO SORRY
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
Randomize
