I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
goodnight i made you a song goodbye
I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
Don't make emojis simulating eating me out
mike is out of commission and cannot make breakfast. he's sitting with two frozen waffles on his face & smiling like an idiot.
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
its liver damage thursday
tell me about the eggs
Randomize
