I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
It doesn't matter if I tell the story beginning to end or end to beginning, the story still starts with a random girl blowing me in the bathroom.
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
Randomize
